21. Indonesian. I'd go queer for tea and coffee.

the problem of comparison



I am currently jobless and I do this by choice, more so as an act of self-respecting my body and mind as they deserve the much needed rest. Respecting myself of what I have accomplished and that of course is finishing my thesis (with the mouthful title of Living Together in a Religious…

Krishnamurti Vipassana meditation retreat


Me and Rara will be going to the Krishnamurti Vipassana meditation retreat from the 15-17 August 2014 in Bogor, West Java. The retreat costs about Rp.100.000 ($10) including food (breakfast and lunch, there are no dinners in this meditation retreat) and accommodation. The retreat will start on…

Vain // Vanity


Do we need to kiss?
Do I need to taste the suppleness of your lips to be convinced of your absolute presence


While I look much better in cinerama and vintage filter
She looks pretty in shoulder-length haircut and rose-tinted lips in every frame
It starts to drive me crazy
Out of the things he has said


She was the woman who never claimed her beauty
Hence it drifted like an empty bottle before strayed on someone else’s rough lips and quick-handed scan
She was the woman who never believed in simple vanity
Just because the bacne grew since she was 10
And all the ugliest name calls that shoved her ears to bleed
She bred jealousy instead of taking pride
It took her 12 more years to forgive her skin, height and all masses


I have never had a chance to learn how sonnet rhymes
I struggle to remember words in my own poetry
My linguistic embarrassment lay on the papers and the tip of my tongue
But fuck, do I write not for anyone but myself
I write for the imperfection

I am the loud voice of the rejected
Those who failed to align to flawless standards
To the world where champions and losers are neither existed

I am with those who have been challenged,
but never forfeited

Lion-hearted who fights without withdrawal
Eagles who spread their wings wide enough to fly

Something about The Heart

My heart can run twice as fast as the cheetah
She is the champion of assumption
A loser led by failed navigation

She is a heavy boat that floats
Whose balance is rather weak
She is afraid to be sunk into the wide deep ocean

I do not know what she is made of
But she is strong and fragile at the same time